The Veil is Thin

I love this time of year when the veil is thin. 

Celebrated by many names, All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Day of the Dead, Dia de los Muertos, Zaduski and Samhain, the days of October 31, November 1 and 2 and the week surrounding them are a special time throughout the world where we honor and remember those who have crossed the veil. Many churches have special services of remembrance where photos and names of those who died in the last year are spoken aloud. Earth based spirituality holds that the end of October and beginning of November is one of the most sensitive times of the year.  It is said that during these days between the fall equinox and winter solstice, the veil between worlds is thinned and spirits can come to the material plain.  This is a time when it is said our ancestors can come close to us.  We can invite our ancestors to come near in beautiful ways through our altars and in our paintings.  For the next week, I invite us to honor our ancestors in traditional ways.  I invite you to research and find the traditions in your culture of origin and also share your own traditions.  

My DNA lineage is primarily European from Poland.  One of the most important family holidays in Poland, save Easter and Christmas, is Zaduszki.  People all over the country gather to visit the graves of their loved ones.  Cemeteries glow with lights.  What began as a set of traditions to please the spirits of the departed is now an occasion to gather the family and remember those who are no longer with us.  The word zaduszki comes from dzień zaduszny, which translates as day of prayer for the souls.   Celebrations begin with tending family graves.  A special bread is baked to be shared with those met in the cemetery. A special mass is offered for the ancestors. This year my dear friend, Anna Maria carried my heart with her as she visited her ancestors in Poland. What a blessing.

I live in Houston, a melting pot city and one of the predominant cultures here is Latina culture which I love. Celebrations here in Houston are influenced by the wonderful culture of Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos. 

Dia de los Muertos lasts for a number of days. Candles and marigolds are placed in a path to ones’ home where an ofrenda is created for the ancestors.  The candles light the way and the fragrance of the marigolds shows them the way home.  An ofrenda is an altar space.  Each ancestors’ photo is placed on the ofrenda along with their favorite foods and drink, dirt representing earth, water for the spirits to quench their thirst, marigolds and a symbol for air called papel picado(perforated paper) in which the holes allow a way for the souls to travel through and visit and favorite items for the ancestor.  Some ofrendas have a flower arch as a welcoming portal for the spirits of the ancestors.  Calaveras or decorative skulls are part of the ofrenda.  A round bread called pan de Puerto (day of the dead bread) is found at local bakeries. Finally, salt and copal incense ward off evil spirits.  ”We as human beings try to hold on to memories and reflecting our loved ones," Lizbeth Ortiz curator of Hardy and Nance Art Studio, Houston said. "Día de los Muertos is important because it helps us remember why life is so precious, and honor our ancestors that came before us.” 

Consider this a gentle invitation.  Engage this time in your own way.  One simple yet lovely idea is to make your ancestors favorite dish, gather around the dinner table to share food and stories of your ancestors.  My mother was not a cook but she had one meal that was a real treat for our family. The meal included barbecue hamburger on bun, orange jello salad with carrots and pineapple, and potato salad.  I know it sounds like an odd combination but it all works together.  Typically, when I think of my mother and food I have to chuckle.  She did not like anything green…no lettuce, no broccoli, no spinach…you get the picture.  The one exception was dill pickles.  Her absolute favorite food was hot dogs which she called wienies.  My dad was a health nut before it was trendy.  He walked several miles a day, ate all the healthy fruits and veggies he could find, even visiting local farmer’s markets before that was trendy.  Ironically, my dad died very young and my mom lived to be 88…this is probably way too much information. 

I say all this to invite you to remember and reminisce about your family.  Cook great food!  Tell stories! Do this in whatever way feels right for you.  If your person has crossed the veil recently this can be a very tender time and sad.  Know that over time the memories become sweet. 

I invite you to share your traditions with family, especially the children in your life. Tell them the stories.

This year is feeling really different for me as two dear friends’ mother’s crossed into eternity this past year and my friend, Carla's daughter died suddenly of the flu this week. This is also a time to feel the feels and acknowledge grief. Someone said to me recently, “Grief is love with no place to go.” That rings true for me today as I grieve with Carla, Parker and her entire family for her beloved Amanda.

Consider writing a poem honoring one or more ancestors. This year my poem expresses the deep sense of sadness I feel for my friend in the loss of her daughter.

Why does death evoke a deeper sadness

On Halloween or Dia de los Muertos

Or All Saints Day or All Souls Day?

We gather to honor the ancestors

of birth and blood, of choice, and love on these days…

Family, friends, wise teachers who have left this life.

A sweet remembrance each year

Of lives well lived.  Of love felt, tender and true.

We seek wisdom for our journey,

comfort in knowing and being known.

To depart on such a day

Feels profoundly sorrowful

yet inexplicably sacred.

We honor those who have crossed the veil

At this time of year

with flowers, photos, candles, favorite foods,

touchstones of life help us remember them in death.

These are raw, holy…wholly sacred days in which

We embody vulnerability mixed with fond memories

As we reach across the veil,

hoping our loved ones reach back

To grasp our hand if even for a moment.

But, what about those

who depart amid this time

When the veil is oh so thin?

We want to reach

through the veil to pull them back

Into this world but we cannot.

Grief reaches the core of our being…

A sucker punch from the universe.

This day…

These days will never be the same.

This comes with love and the scent of marigolds,

I hope this time is meaningful for you dear one,

Mary Ann